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Catch-Up Service: another genuine shop name and some other jokes

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Catch-Up Service: another genuine shop name and some other jokes

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Another for my collection of terrible shop-name puns, from Graham Kirby. 

• The daily catch-up, a round-up of links, short comments and pictures that I posted here every morning, is going to become the “occasional catch-up” as I accelerate like a pink Bentley into the Independent‘s bright all-digital future. I shall be writing for the website and the app (sign up here for a free trial) more frequently during the day.

If you’d like a daily email reminder with links to all my maunderings (“perhaps from obsolete maunder ‘to beg'”), you can sign up for the Catch-Up Service email, which is sent out at 9am every morning if I’ve written anything in the previous 24 hours. My author page is here, and the RSS is http://www.independent.co.uk/author/john-rentoul/rss

• It does mean, though, that I have a backlog of jokes collected from Twitter, like money in the bank. Time to spend it. 

Thanks to Moose Allain for this:

“‏Some people like it when an object has displaced just enough water to equal its own original weight. Ah well, whatever floats your boat.”

To Glenny Rodge ‏for this:

COMPUTER: “Enter password.”

ME: [types “14days”] 

COMPUTER: “Your password is two week.” 

ME: “Uh?” 

COMPUTER: “Computer do joke. Computer funny.”

And to Namey McNamename ‏(@Cain_Unable) for this:

“Today seems like a good day to bury bad news. It was a stupid name for a hamster anyway and he died over three weeks ago.”

Tom Freeman ‏was unimpressed by George Osborne’s proposal that students should study maths up to the age of 18:

“We already have to study maths up to age 16, and that’s quite enough. There’s no reason to add an extra three years.” 

Moose Allain ‏again:

“I’ve just bought my friends a new boiler and complete central heating system, as a house warming present.”

And again:

“Greg! Greg! Greg! Ian! Greg! Ian! Ian! Greg! Greg! Ian! Ian! Greg! Greg! Ian! Ian! Ian!”

Gregorian chant.

And finally, also from the mighty Moose: 

“Quick reminder: April Fool’s Day has been moved to 2 April because of the leap year.”

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