Catch-Up Service: another genuine shop name and some other jokes
Another for my collection of terrible shop-name puns, from Graham Kirby.
• The daily catch-up, a round-up of links, short comments and pictures that I posted here every morning, is going to become the “occasional catch-up” as I accelerate like a pink Bentley into the Independent‘s bright all-digital future. I shall be writing for the website and the app (sign up here for a free trial) more frequently during the day.
If you’d like a daily email reminder with links to all my maunderings (“perhaps from obsolete maunder ‘to beg'”), you can sign up for the Catch-Up Service email, which is sent out at 9am every morning if I’ve written anything in the previous 24 hours. My author page is here, and the RSS is http://www.independent.co.uk/author/john-rentoul/rss
• It does mean, though, that I have a backlog of jokes collected from Twitter, like money in the bank. Time to spend it.
Thanks to Moose Allain for this:
“Some people like it when an object has displaced just enough water to equal its own original weight. Ah well, whatever floats your boat.”
To Glenny Rodge for this:
COMPUTER: “Enter password.”
ME: [types “14days”]
COMPUTER: “Your password is two week.”
COMPUTER: “Computer do joke. Computer funny.”
And to Namey McNamename (@Cain_Unable) for this:
“Today seems like a good day to bury bad news. It was a stupid name for a hamster anyway and he died over three weeks ago.”
Tom Freeman was unimpressed by George Osborne’s proposal that students should study maths up to the age of 18:
“We already have to study maths up to age 16, and that’s quite enough. There’s no reason to add an extra three years.”
Moose Allain again:
“I’ve just bought my friends a new boiler and complete central heating system, as a house warming present.”
“Greg! Greg! Greg! Ian! Greg! Ian! Ian! Greg! Greg! Ian! Ian! Greg! Greg! Ian! Ian! Ian!”
And finally, also from the mighty Moose:
“Quick reminder: April Fool’s Day has been moved to 2 April because of the leap year.”